How Can I Help Someone Involved in an Abusive Relationship

  • Refer them to a local domestic violence program – not to couples or family counseling. You can find help near you by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
  • Let them know they are not alone and that there are people at HOPE of Ogle County who know how to help. Encourage them to call HOPE of Ogle County at (815) 562-8890 and talk to our professional staff available 24 hours a day and 7 days a week.   You can assure them that what they share with HOPE will be kept confidential and that our service is free of charge.  HOPE staff will help them address their current safety issues.  Inform them that HOPE services are available in Spanish.
  • Listen to them and show them that you believe what they are saying.
  • Let them know that the abuse is not their fault.
  • Allow the person to direct their own process. They are usually the best judge of what is safe for themselves and their children.
  • Be patient. The complexities of their life have evolved over time and it will take time to heal. Measure your success according your willingness to be available to them, not by what she or he decides to do.
  • Be patient and let them know you care and are there for them.  Oftentimes abusive partners attempt to isolate their partner from family, friends and acquaintances, therefore letting them know they are valuable and important to you can prevent them from further isolation.
  • If you hear or see domestic violence happening, call 911 for help.  Oftentimes and for many reasons, victims of domestic violence cannot call themselves.

Helpful Reading Material:  “Why Does He Do That?” by Lundy Bancroft and "Daily Wisdom for Why Does he Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft